On letting go.

Every morning I read the Daily Love email and today this quote from one of my favorite authors, Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, was in it. 

"All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you. The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for external reasons to explain your unhappiness or frustration. You may succeed in making another feel guilty about something by blaming him, but you won't succeed in changing whatever it is about you that is making you unhappy." - Dr. Wayne W. Dyer,

I've been feeling some deep sadness about my childhood. It didn't turn out the way I wished it had and since I don't have a time machine I can't go back and change it. One day I will tell the whole story of how my biological parents left me on a midwife farm in Wisconsin to be adopted and how I was kept a secret to some people because I was biracial...and that was just the start of it. Yup, gonna have to write a book.

Anywho, as you can imagine I've got some people I very strongly want to blame, and with every part of my being I want to blame them for my hurt little heart. But how can I? They are human, and maybe they had some pain from their past that created them to behave they way they did. Who knows, and why should I even spend my time analyzing it? What I do know is that blaming other people uses up my energy, it doesn't allow me to grow, it blocks my creativity, and I feel like crap because I'm holding in anger and resentment from something that happened in the past.

Forgiving someone doesn't mean you have to stick around and tolerate any kind of abuse. Forgiving someone means that you let go of the pain (baby steps are recommended here) and eventually wish them a prayer that they find love and happiness so YOU can start healing your sweet little heart. Yes it's hard as hell! But the results are that you will be free. Sometimes I have to forgive certain people over and over again because my heart starts hurting again. And that's okay. I am human and life has sadness and happiness at different times. I find it very healthy to express my emotions. If I am sad then honey I will cry! And I'll indulge in it with some chocolate peanut butter ice cream and a gossip magazine all curled up in my down comforter on the couch! If I am angry I will assertively ask for what I need and express my disappointment. If something is funny then I shall  laugh quite loudly so that the neighbors giggle too. Having emotions is human. Since I've gotten so much better at communicating my authentic feelings in the moment I feel much more centered and at peace.

Become aware of the areas of your life where you still feel pain and take a honest look at how you feel. It's really brave to face your feelings. And you are worth forgiving yourself and others. It feels good to move on and be free.

photo source: www.lundlund.com

xo

Rashaan Cruzé

"You wander from room to room, hunting for the diamond necklace, that is already around your neck." -Rumi

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